The 12 Rules of an NCO

An NCO is Never, Ever  Wrong.

   
An NCO can Make, Change and Modify any rules or Regulations that he or she wants without giving advance notification to the enlisted soldier.

   
A soldier who has less rank and/or is not an NCO cannot know all the Military Rules and Regulations that an NCO knows.

     
If at any time an NCO suspects a Lower Enlisted Soldier knows any of the Military Rules or Regulations, he or she is allowed to create an entirely new set of Rules and Regulations.

       
If at any time a Lower Enlisted Soldier Thinks or Feels an NCO is Wrong, he or she should refer back to Rule Number 1.

   
If there is a question concerning the Rules, it’s because there is a misunderstanding on the part of the Lower Enlisted Soldier; and not the NCO.

       
If at any time the Rules or Regulations are ever violated by a Lower Enlisted Soldier, he or she must apologize by getting down on their hands and knees and Beg for Forgiveness.

   
An NCO is allowed to change his or her mind whenever he or she pleases, and as often as he or she wants without giving prior notification.

         
Lower Enlisted Soldiers who are serving under an NCO are not allowed to change their minds without first receiving permission from an NCO.

    
NCOs are allowed at anytime to be angry, mad violent, and upset whenever they deem it is necessary.

         
Lower Enlisted Soldiers must at All Times remain Calm and Quiet in front of an NCO. They are not allowed to be Angry or Upset without First receiving permission from the NCO.

         
If a Lower Enlisted Soldier should Ever make Any Attempt to Record, Document, or Report Any of the Rules or Regulations that an NCO knows, the NCO is allowed to conduct Bodily Harm on the Lower Enlisted Soldier to convince them that they are Wrong to even Think about Reporting It.

From The Ranger Digest, Part I, by Ranger Rick F. Tscherne
(Available at AAFES)